Have you ever had a dream so vivid that you wake up upset it wasn't real? Worse than that, after waking up and thinking about it wishing it was real? I have had a few of those lately. As lovely as the dream was, waking up knowing it wasn't real or never going to happen is soul crushing. Its almost like reaching out for something, and right at the moment you grab it, it disappears. What sucks is I wish I could just forget the fucking dream, but unfortunately I can't.
Anyway, the dream went like this..... I was at work for some reason (I'm always there at 4 am to do client training). It must have be later though because the sun was slightly coming up, and I was at my desk. Then I get this text message that just said "come outside now" along with a picture of a Starbucks vanilla latte. Dammit I do love vanilla lattes. I was really hesitant thinking maybe she poisoned it lol. So I walk out there, and as I approach her SUV she gets out and is staring at me. she was wearing the same outfit that she wore the first time I met her. After about a minute, she just hauls off and bitch slaps me and calls me a "motherfucker". As I take a step back in shock, she grabs me and pulls me close and just looks up at me, the kisses me for what seems like forever. She then looks up at me and says "don't fuck me over again". I agreed, then she smiled with that single dimple, hugged me the way she use to and we started kissing again. That's when I woke up. I looked around, realized it was a dream than got pissed off, and laid back down and drifted back off to sleep.
For however long that dream lasted, I really felt like I was getting a second chance. But lets be realistic, there is no such things as second chances. Especially when it comes to love. I mean there might be the super rare occasion where it happens, but 99% of the time NOPE. There are never any chances of redemption, even if it was meant to be there will always be a reason to not surrender to it, make it work and live that happily ever after shit. Love and relationships just aren't made like that anymore. If I did have a second chance to get it right, even with the shit she pulled, Id be on that shit with a fury. It's funny how one person can turn your world happy than sad and a complete cluster fuck, yet the moment they needed you, your there no questions asked. Rationally speaking it sounds super fucked up, but at the same time just how it is. The struggle I have now is I know that would be one sided and I'm not worth the hassle I guess.
Go Fucking Figure!
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