Day 1 - Why It's Needed

It's pretty simple nd in just one word....PEACE

I have battled so hard and for so long. medicine, Dr's, therapy and everything else under the son. The problem is none of it has worked. I end up always in the same place, square one. Ad this last month has showed me the most valuable lesson ever, I am not meant for this world or suppose to be here. If I was, things would be different, I would be different. But it's not and neither am I. I have lived with such a pain in me for so very long, I finally realized that its never going to go away. Its just me and its to the point I cant stand who I se in the mirror. There is only one way out of this dumpster fire, To end it. And to those who think I'm selfish, an attention seeker, I wont do it I'm all talk...You don't know what's in me or ever wanted to to, so keep your opinions to your self. When you can live a day as me, then you can bitch. Until then fuck off. With that said here's my I guess  "bucket list"  of daily tasks I will perform leading up to it.

1. Get in 1 of 5 daily good workouts with my friends. So at least I go out with a pump.

2. File lien of the home I was illegally evicted from.

3. Eat at one of my favorite two Restaurants that nobody ever wanted to go with me to.

4. Get haircut and beard trimmed so I don't look super homeless (vain I know).

5. Start getting all paperwork and affairs in order (since I had everything taken from me should be easy.

6. Give my kids my stuff they have access to (karate gear, title belts, diplomas, etc.)If they want them cool, if not throw away.