I simply can't exist in a life like this anymore. No matter how hard I try, love, be a good human and all that makes for a good life, I simply cant have or will ever have. All I feel is nothing but hurt, loss, depression, sadness and the vast spectrum of loneliness. Its time to face facts, I'm NOT meant to have any peace, love or happiness. This last few days has proven the fact and driven the point home, IM NOT MEANT TO BE HERE.
So I plan to do what is not only the most human thing for myself, but others. All I ever am is a fucking stain on this society and I need to accept this.
I plan on only writing within this blog and fully chronical and detail the end of this journey so that everyone knows that not only I tried, but I failed and why I'm doing what's best for me and everyone else. You'll all get my best writing, letters, poetry, all of it.
All my life, it has ben nothing but hurt and disappointment, with only short glimpses of peace, or what I thought was happiness, now I for sure know they were just more lessons proving I don't deserve to have or be. You can only be kicked so long before you realize its best to stay down.
For those who think I'm selfish or seeking attention or that told me to "get over it" or "move on" or "suck it up"....FUCK YOU, because you have no place to tell me what's not only best for me but what will FINALLY bring peace. Those who do this in reality are selfish for expecting me to live with the immense pain i feel ALL DAY EVERY DAY while hiding so much!
Enjoy the read, because when the writing stops........End of journey!
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